How to Win Friends and Influence People — A Deep Dive (Part 2)

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Continued from Part 1

Part 2: Six Ways to Make People Like You 🤝

Likability is the gateway to influence.

  • Become genuinely interested in other people. Not because it's useful — because it's human.
  • Smile. It's a low-cost, high-return investment. 😁
  • Use their name. It's the primary identifier of their ego.
  • Be an active listener. Most people are just waiting to speak. Be the exception. 🙊
  • Talk in terms of the other person's interests.
  • Make the other person feel important — and do it sincerely.

Part 3: Win People to Your Way of Thinking 🧠

The goal is agreement, not victory.

  • The only way to win an argument is to avoid it.
  • Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say "you're wrong."
  • If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
  • Begin in a friendly way.
  • Get the other person saying "yes, yes" immediately.
  • Let them do the talking. You gain invaluable information.
  • Let them feel the idea is theirs — this is the apex of influence.
  • Honestly see things from their point of view.
  • Appeal to the nobler motives.

Part 4: Be a Leader 🏆

Change behavior without arousing resentment.

  • Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
  • Call attention to mistakes indirectly. (Use "and," not "but.")
  • Talk about your own mistakes first before criticizing the other person.
  • Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
  • Let the other person save face.
  • Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement.
  • Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
  • Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
  • Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

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Influence isn't won; it's conceded.

This concludes our book review. I trust you will find it useful and that you will be able to apply it to your day-to-day activities.